Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Tales of a First-Time Online Dater...

Oh boy.  Where to begin this post?  It's hard to believe I made it into my early 30's without ever having dipped my toes in the mysterious, murky waters that make up the online dating pool, but it's true.  Well, up until 3 months ago that is.  Since this summer is all about self discovery, finding my path and the road to personal fulfillment, I decided to take the plunge.  I signed up with one of the largest sites and decided to try it for 3 months and see what happened.  (1 in 5 relationships start online, or something like that?!)  Now that those 3 months are coming to a close, I'd like to sum up my experience. 

 
All in all, I think it was a positive experience.  Unfortunately, I did not meet the love of my life, but I was also lucky enough not to meet any weirdos or creepers (in person that is).  All of the guys I went out with were really nice and pretty 'normal'.  I just didn't feel a romantic connection with any of them.  Most of the dates were pretty standard dinner & drinks but I did go rock climbing on one of the dates, which I thought was a great idea on his part and REALLY fun!  I always prefer doing something active to just sitting around. 
 
I was really excited for about the first month of this experience, but for some reason my enthusiasm drastically waned after that.  I'm not sure why, but maybe it's a hint that online dating is not for me?  I love meeting new people, but I think I prefer meeting people more casually and not in such a 'staged' environment.  I guess the thing about online dating for me is that it seems kind of backwards to the way I view dating in general.  I like to get to know someone in real life first, then decide I 'like' them, and then decide to start dating.  Online dating jumps right into dating, and then getting to know someone, and then deciding whether or not you like them!  Backwards right?!  I know it's worked for a lot of people, even some I know personally, but just like every person is so different, I think our approach to finding 'The One' will vary widely.  Who knows,  I may try it again, this time on a different site, or perhaps in a different city if I end up moving, but for now I need a break.  I am busy trying to figure out my next big steps in life and don't think I have the proper focus to devote to it.  There are too many other things I need to focus on now, and I'm hoping once I find my path, that will lead me not only to the truest expression of who I am, but the person that is right for me as well.
 
 
 
Ok, now for the fun part.  I am going to give you a general rundown of some of the biggest 'offenses' I noticed during this experiment.  I don't want to post any real names or photos to embarrass anyone (believe me there were some real gems!) but I will generalize:
 
1.  Your Screen Name - If it resembles any of these - SexyMotherF, DevilRob, CheapSins, ZombieStomper, CannedBeef, ChocolateFudge69, YoungBuck, LadiezMan - No.  You pretty much lost me already.  There is a good chance I am not even going to read your profile.
 
2.  Grammar, Misspelled Words, Punctuation - I can forgive one, maybe two, misspelled words in your profile, but if the entire thing is full of misspelled words, incomplete sentences, text slang (ur for your), incoherent thoughts, words that are not capitalized, and sentences that are missing punctuation, then No.  You either didn't put any effort into writing your bio, or you just have no mastery of the English language and in that case, I am afraid that if we meet in person I might not even understand what you're saying. 
 
3.  One Word Emails - Yes this happened.  I received messages that simply said "D*MN" or "HOT".  Nope.  If you can't craft a thoughtful email consisting of at least a few sentences, this is already going nowhere.
 
4.  Age - If you are OLD ENOUGH TO BE MY FATHER - NO.  It's absolutely not happening.  I got so many messages from guys that were 10-20 years outside my stated age range.  I put it there for a reason.  I'm absolutely not dating anyone that could have fathered me.  GROSS.
 
5.  Selfies - These were all over the place.  Shirtless selfies (tons), selfies in the bathroom (gross), selfies with children in the background. You would not believe how many people's photos consisted ENTIRELY of selfies!  Are you kidding me?  If you can't find two to four decent photos that someone else took of you, preferably in some kind of social setting, then I'm already afraid of you.
 
 
Ok your turn!
 
Have you ever tried online dating?  Any success stories?  Any horror stories?!
 
If not, how did you meet your partner or spouse?
 
 
 
 


11 comments:

  1. This is a hilarious post. I love it! Another big no-no in my book (before I got married) is still living with your mother. I went on a date with a guy like that, and as soon as I found out I lost all respective for him.

    I ended up meeting my husband through church. The old fashioned get to know him, decide I like him, THEN start dating. :) But, like you said, I know many people who met their husband online. There's lots of ways to skin a cat, right?

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    1. Well at least I didn't meet any that were still living with their mother - at least they didn't tell me they were, Haha!
      Aww, the way you met your husband sounds perfect. I'm hoping to meet someone naturally like that too!

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  2. SO funny reading others' experiences on online dates for the first time! I think most of us women go through similar things.... I especially hate the one-word emails and the bathroom mirror selfies.

    I write a whole blog of my crazy online dates so I could write a novel :) But I did have one guy tell me on the FIRST date that he thought I was "the one" and wanted to "pass on" his "genetic material" through me. Ugh!

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    1. Hi Sabrina,

      Thanks for commenting. I just checked out your blog and I will definitely be following now! I guess online dating requires far more patience and time invested than my 3 months - so perhaps I'll eventually dive back in!
      And ewww to the creepy guy talking about procreating with you on date #1!

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  3. I'm so with you on many of the things on your list! The horrible user names, the illiteracy I witness sometimes...oy! Online dating is a weird thing, but it's just so hard to meet people in the course of every day life sometimes. I guess I'm just used to the online thing now, though I do look forward to a break from it every now and again.

    At least you gave it a try! :)

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    1. I agree - I think once you reach a certain age, it's really hard to meet people in every day life. I don't know why this is, but sometimes it feels like if you didn't meet the love of your life in college then you're out of luck! I did enjoy my 3 month experience but I think it's going to take a lot more time and patience than I originally planned for :)

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  4. Bad grammar and selfies are DEFINITELY turn-offs. I agree with everything you said!

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    1. Haha, yes what is with the SELFIES?! I just don't understand. I hope you are successfully steering clear of the creepers so far!

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  5. This is too funny! I've never done online dating, (nor do I plan to, as I am happily married - yay!) but I do remember back in the day those Myspace profiles. I'm assuming that's what it resembles. Some people can get so creative with slang text lol.

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    1. It was surely an experience to remember. We'll see if I dive back in this year!

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  6. I've never tried online dating, but was thinking about it (recently met someone through other means though) and this just made me laugh, especially the part about being old enough to 'father" you!

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