Monday, September 30, 2013

A Day in the Life of the Real George Constanza

I've had a request from a friend to post more 'funny life stories' on the blog.  This is the friend who years ago, coined me as George Costanza from Seinfeld.  I will admit, I was initially offended by this moniker, I mean George is pretty much the most hapless, pathetic character on that show, but the situations he gets himself into are usually the funniest ones on every episode.  So with some reluctance, I started to embrace my little pet name.  Time and time again, life has shown me just how similar Georgie and I really are.  For whatever reason, I have a real knack for attracting and embedding myself in the most awkward situations.  So, today out of the blue, one of these situations arose, and for said friend's benefit I decided to blog about it!
Today I had an appointment with a recruiter downtown.  I will admit I haven't had the best experiences with recruiters in the past.  I met with some a few years ago, when I was exploring the possibilities of a new job, still within my industry.  I (mistakenly) thought that perhaps a change of venue or scenery would help fill the growing sense of purposelessness I was feeling in my career.  But I quickly realized simply moving to a new company would do nothing to quell what my heart was really trying to tell me.  The recruiters at that time came off as sales-y, and put a lot of pressure on me to accept positions simply because of the money.  I mean, I realize everyone needs to make a living, but they were trying to earn their commission from essentially selling me - a human being.  So needless to the say, the whole recruiting process just left a bad taste in my mouth.
So enter today; I decided to go in with an open mind and would let this particular recruiter know exactly the type of work I was and was not looking for.  I still think I will probably have to continue doing most of the legwork, soul searching and networking myself, but I thought, hey why not give this another shot!  As I got dressed for the day, and put on my old 'business casual' work clothes a funny feeling came over me.  I looked at myself in the mirror and the reflection looking back just didn't feel like 'me' anymore, if that makes sense.  I mean I'm wearing heels again for heavens' sake!  I really can't believe I wore heels day in and day out for 9 years. 
I've often compared my life in that job to Andrea's in The Devil Wears Prada (although without all the free designer clothes!).  In the beginning, I was enamored with the glitz and glamour of the industry.  And those were high times back then, before the recession.  I felt important wearing heels and fancy clothes, taking day trips to Manhattan on the business express train, expensing meals, getting rewarded with free happy hours every week and attending lavish NYC Christmas parties.  But after awhile, the glitz wears off, and I was left feeling empty and searching for meaning in what I was doing.  I am thankful for a wonderful job out of a college, a job that had nothing to do with my undergrad degree (Education) because I couldn't find a teaching job, butttt you can only live in circumstances that aren't congruent with your 'inner truth' for so long before that inner struggle will become apparent on the outside.  So, I guess what I'm hoping for is the ending to The Devil Wears Prada, wherein Andy finally finds meaningful, purposeful work that she was meant to do.  And in that last scene, where she walks out of the newspaper office in jeans and a blazer, she looks more happy, more content, and more like herself than she did the entire movie.  (Oh please, let that be ME one day!)
Alright where was I with today's story.  Oh yes, driving downtown to meet the recruiter.  Pulling into the parking garage, because when you live and work in a big city, there is no such thing as free parking.  True story.  I used to have over $100 deducted from my paycheck every month just to PARK at my office.  WHAT?!  So I take the little ticket today and drive around and around a few times, looking for a spot when all of a sudden alarms start blaring.  I kid you not.  There is a FIRE ALARM!  And a voice telling me "There has been a fire alarm in the building.  Please proceed to the nearest stairwell and exit the building immediately."  Oh what to do here, what to do?  Do I park?  Do I leave.  Is this a real fire???!  I actually started cracking up in my car.  Throwing caution to the wind, I decided to park my car and ride this thing out.  I then proceeded to call the recruiter.  It went to voicemail, so with the alarm blaring in the background I left a voicemail stating I was in fact here for my appointment but there seems to be a building evacuation/emergency situation going on so I'm going to be late.  HAHAHA Oh I'm still laughing at how that message probably sounded. 
So I take the stairs down and end up in the middle of a giant herd of cattle, until we reach ground level and we're all standing outside.  I wasn't really concerned with it being an emergency at this point but I couldn't stop laughing at the situation.  I mean, if that blaring ALARM was not a signal from the Divine telling me that this recruiting process was not the best move for my future career aspirations, I'm not sure what was!  Anyway, I turn to the dude next to me and ask him if he knows if this is a drill or a real fire.  He tells me it was a scheduled drill.  I say, "Oh that's cool. I literally just got here for a job interview and this happens.  This is my life."  He starts laughing and then the good natured woman next to him hears us, and chimes in with, "That's hilarious.  Well I hope the interview goes better than this!".  Sooo, my morning looked like this:
Nothing like hanging out at someone else's fire drill for the duration of your morning :)
I finally was able to meet with the recruiter about a half hour late and I must say I was a bit happier this time around.  Although I'm sure she thought I was a bit of a strange bird.  When she asked me what types of places I'd like to work, I actually said "Well, I don't want to work anywhere where their main objective is to make money"! HAHAHA  She gave me a blank stare and then prompted me some more.  'So, um, what kinds of places would you like to work for.'  My response: "I want to work for someplace that is doing good for humanity, that is operating for a cause and mission and has goals other than money-making".  Again, with the inquisitive looks.  Most people that use corporate recruiters are looking to make money and enjoy working in big corporations that make lots of money.  Nope.  Not this girl!  I may as well have just looked at her and said I'd like to be a latex salesman for Vandelay Industries:

So, who knows if anything will come of this meeting but I sure had a great time!  A day in the life of George Costanza.  Always entertaining.  And yes I'm single gentleman, line forms to the left :) 
Your turn!
I would love to hear some recent funny/entertaining/awkward stories from you!
Are you a Seinfeld fan? (Is No even an option here?!)


  1. Great post! You always put a smile on my face :-)

    1. Haha glad to hear that! That's what I'm here for :)

  2. Replies
    1. Hahah, I'm sure I was that recruiter's worst nightmare! Glad you enjoyed it :)