Self Diagnosis and Who Am I?

And just like that it's another week.  Where is the summer going?!?!  Don't answer that.  Summer is going to last forever, just like my cats.

I finally decided to stop being an idiot and take some time off from exercise to allow my leg to heal.  Obviously, cutting out running but still working out rather aggressively 5-6 days/week was just making things worse.  That was further evidenced when I went for a long bike ride back in PA this weekend and then could barely walk afterward.  Sometimes I really need to be shouted at to get the point!

I am still convinced that what I have is tendinitis of one of the tendons/ligaments in the back of my leg.  Either something connected to the hamstring, or after some Googling around this weekend, possibly this:  Popliteus Tendinitis.  There's a mouthful.  In all my years of AP Bio and Anatomy, never once had I heard of the popliteus muscle.  You learn something new every day.  If you are in the same boat here's a visual for you:

source

 



I was reading a bunch of threads from injured runners on Let's Run and the symptoms sound similar to what I'm experiencing.  Unfortunately, the only cure for any kind of tendinitis  (or any injury in general!) is rest.  If you come back too soon, you just prolong the injury.  So rest it is.  And now, if anyone ever asks you where the popliteus muscle is you can tell them!  I hope you win Final Jeopardy one day because of me :)

It's disappointing that I won't be able to run the trail half I had planned to run with my friend, but as much as I was looking forward to it, this race is about her.  It is her first half marathon EVER and I think it's more important that I be a spectator instead of a participant so that I can really support her.  She has been at the finish line of MANY of my races and now I can't wait to be at hers!

Being an injured runner has a way making anyone who's experienced it feel a little down, a little lost, and a little unsure of who they are anymore.  I was pondering why this is, which got my head spinning off a complete tangent.  So get ready.

I think the problem becomes when we define ourselves as "A Runner".  Or anything for that matter. 
A Teacher/CEO/Banker/Janitor/(Fill in your occupation here).  A Wife.  A Mother.  __________'s Girlfriend.  A Homeowner.  Someone who drives a BMW.  Someone who wears designer clothes.  Etc, etc.

The issue arises when you attach WHO you ARE to something external, rather than internal.  Because what happens when that thing, person, hobby, etc are suddenly gone?  You are left questioning who you are. You are left feeling that who you are is gone.  But that can never be the case.  Who you are deep inside, your soul, will always be there. 

You are not any more or less a person, a human being, by having or not having any of the above things.  I think it becomes dangerous when we tie our identity to other people or things.  Whether that be a spouse, material objects, or even talents.  All of those things can be taken away in an instant and if you are not grounded in who you are, you can become lost. 

But I think we all feel this way sometimes, especially when the rug gets pulled out from under us.  If a relationship ends, or we lose a job, or we have to sit some time out due to illness or injury.  I can't run right now, but I'm still Jill.  Vegan ice cream may not always be my favorite food, but I'm still Jill.  My body will physically change over the years, where I live, who I love, and what I do for work will no doubt continue to change, but I will always be me.  And so will you. 


My popliteus and I will continue pondering more of life's great mysteries during this downtime.  I hope to bring you more words you cannot pronounce in my next post. 


P.S. I just saw a commercial for A Walk in the Woods the MOVIE on TV!!!!!!!!! It's apparently coming out in theaters in September.  Life is grand.



Have you learned anything new or interesting lately?!

Share some of your favorite vocabulary words with me!