Monday, March 17, 2014

Feeling 22...

Nope, not at all.  But I do love me some TSwift.  I'm not really feeling 35 either.  Or perhaps, I don't know what 35 is supposed to feel like.  I don't think there's really a right answer here concerning how one should feel at a certain age, however, I do think at times even for me, a Pisces with her head eternally in the clouds, it becomes hard to ignore external and societal pressure.  When I was a little kid, I'm sure I thought 35 was REALLY old!  Ha!  I guess because that's how old my mom was when I was 14 (sweet Lord, that just blew my mind).

With each passing birthday, I become more aware of just how fast time flies.  It sometimes feels like there will not be enough time for me to accomplish all the things I want in life.  I am sure that when I was younger, I had a very different picture of where I would be at the ripe ol age of 35 and it looked nothing like this!  I try often to remember that "Comparison is the thief of joy" but even though I realize I am a spiritual being, I am also human, and sometimes succumb to the materialistic messages of this planet.  Sometimes I don't mind marching to the beat of my own drum, but then there are other times I definitely feel like the 'black sheep' amongst my family and friends, all of whom are settled down, married and have families of their own.  It becomes harder and harder to connect on the same level. 


I finally bought a few supplies at the art store to craft out my 35th year vision board, and I'm starting to feel like some of the things I thought I wanted may have changed? I don't know if that's really the case, or if it's just the ego/fear factor inside thinking I may never have them, so I might as well give up and pursue a new direction?  These are things I'm trying to sort out.  However, I have many bold dreams for this year that I'm not willing to give up on, however difficult or outlandish they may seem.  I mean go big or go home right? I read a quote recently that stated if your dreams don't scare you, then they're not big enough, and I liked it.  A lot.  Because most of my dreams are big and scary and I kind of don't know how I would even go about them.  But if you aim high, even if you don't reach the top, you'll still wind up farther than if you had never tried at all.


I will say this, it is much much easier for me to pursue physical goals (ie. running) than it is for me to pursue LIFE goals (ie. finding my purpose, soul mate, etc).  Setting a physical goal has easy to follow, definable steps, and many times life goals seem more like trial and error.  A zigzagged path that perhaps I don't have the patience or follow through to see to the end?  I don't know, but they are just much harder to get a handle on. 

Well, enough melodramatic reflection for one post!  I actually had a nice birthday weekend back home in PA celebrating with friends and family.  My sister made me some delicious vegan delicacies and I even got 6 miles in on Saturday with relatively mild back pain.  I have a race (just a 10K) coming up in a few weeks and if it would EVER STOP SNOWING I would love to start upping my mileage outdoors again.  (FYI: It's another snow day here in Baltimore; I wish I was joking.) 

Here are a few pics from my birthday yesterday.  This is what 35 looks like....or rather, this is what my 35 looks like. 

 
When I got back in town last night, I was expecting the cats to greet me at the door with party hats on and balloons in hand.  They did not.  To them, March 16th was just any other day, and they were happy to see me.  Perhaps I could learn a thing or two from them....
 
 
 
What do birthdays mean to you?
 
Do you feel any societal pressures as you get older?
 
How was your weekend?!





14 comments:

  1. I remember when I was a kid thinking 30 was OLD. Now I'm 37 (yikes!) Happy birthday!

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    1. Thanks for the birthday wishes Sarah! 30 is the new 20 right?!

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  2. Happy birthday! No matter how I say what I want to say in my head I sound so old!! LOL ok... I will be 39 this year. For me birthdays get less and less extravagant (except 40 will be BIG!). I usually go shopping for fall clothes (august baby) and lunch with my husband. My partying days are long gone. I don't feel any pressure with getting older. People don't look at age the way they used to anymore. I think it's all about how you feel about yourself.

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    1. Aww thank you for the kind advice and birthday wishes Mary! I often times feel 'behind' in life but I know we all move along our path at our own pace. Your birthday traditions sound lovely!

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  3. Happy Birthday! I personally love my birthday! I usually try to celebrate for the entire month of Feb. :)

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    1. Ha! That sounds wonderful - a birthday month! I hope you had a great February!

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  4. Happy Birthday! You're only as "old" as you think you are! Celebrate you're b-day like you really are 22! I personally like to schedule a fun run or race around my b-day. And it's always fun to do it with friends! Hope this year's a great one for you! http://confessionsofanamateurathlete.blogspot.com/

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    1. Hi Jeremy. Thanks so much for the birthday wishes. Racing on your birthday sounds like a great tradition :)

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  5. Happy Belated birthday! You are beautiful inside and out... you're rocking life girl! :)

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    1. Aww thank you Cori! You always have the sweetest words :)

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  6. Thank looks like such a great birthday! I turned 30 late last year and it was the first time a birthday didn't feel like much; I spend the weekend with my bestest of friends and it was just the most beautiful reminder of the small group of people I want to share every Saturday in early November with.

    Do you thing - no matter you age.

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    1. Such good advice Allison! Thanks so much!

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