With each passing birthday, I become more aware of just how fast time flies. It sometimes feels like there will not be enough time for me to accomplish all the things I want in life. I am sure that when I was younger, I had a very different picture of where I would be at the ripe ol age of 35 and it looked nothing like this! I try often to remember that "Comparison is the thief of joy" but even though I realize I am a spiritual being, I am also human, and sometimes succumb to the materialistic messages of this planet. Sometimes I don't mind marching to the beat of my own drum, but then there are other times I definitely feel like the 'black sheep' amongst my family and friends, all of whom are settled down, married and have families of their own. It becomes harder and harder to connect on the same level.
I finally bought a few supplies at the art store to craft out my 35th year vision board, and I'm starting to feel like some of the things I thought I wanted may have changed? I don't know if that's really the case, or if it's just the ego/fear factor inside thinking I may never have them, so I might as well give up and pursue a new direction? These are things I'm trying to sort out. However, I have many bold dreams for this year that I'm not willing to give up on, however difficult or outlandish they may seem. I mean go big or go home right? I read a quote recently that stated if your dreams don't scare you, then they're not big enough, and I liked it. A lot. Because most of my dreams are big and scary and I kind of don't know how I would even go about them. But if you aim high, even if you don't reach the top, you'll still wind up farther than if you had never tried at all.
I will say this, it is much much easier for me to pursue physical goals (ie. running) than it is for me to pursue LIFE goals (ie. finding my purpose, soul mate, etc). Setting a physical goal has easy to follow, definable steps, and many times life goals seem more like trial and error. A zigzagged path that perhaps I don't have the patience or follow through to see to the end? I don't know, but they are just much harder to get a handle on.
Well, enough melodramatic reflection for one post! I actually had a nice birthday weekend back home in PA celebrating with friends and family. My sister made me some delicious vegan delicacies and I even got 6 miles in on Saturday with relatively mild back pain. I have a race (just a 10K) coming up in a few weeks and if it would EVER STOP SNOWING I would love to start upping my mileage outdoors again. (FYI: It's another snow day here in Baltimore; I wish I was joking.)
Here are a few pics from my birthday yesterday. This is what 35 looks like....or rather, this is what my 35 looks like.
When I got back in town last night, I was expecting the cats to greet me at the door with party hats on and balloons in hand. They did not. To them, March 16th was just any other day, and they were happy to see me. Perhaps I could learn a thing or two from them....
What do birthdays mean to you?
Do you feel any societal pressures as you get older?
How was your weekend?!