Tuesday, April 29, 2014

There's Always a Rainbow

When it rains it pours right?!  This post is about the Weekend Where Everything That Could Go Wrong Did, so if you're not in the mood to read about my series of disasters, just skip this one and I'll post something happier later in the week :)
Where to begin here.  I'm actually feeling much better today after having a day to calm down and gain some perspective.  The problems I experienced seem kind of trivial in the big scheme of things now (my personal health and safety remains intact) and I even learned a few things (there's always a lesson right?).
Saturday morning started out with me getting stuck inside a jacket while heading into work.  Yep, straight up trapped!  I stood in a parking garage downtown at 8 in the morning and tugged and pulled with all my might but could not unstick the $*%&* broken zipper on my jacket.  I tried tugging the entire piece of apparel over my head to remove it, but my head wouldn't fit through the neck hole! Haha George Costanza rears his large bulbous head again.  I stood there evaluating the situation and then just decided to rip the jacket in two.  So with all of my might I grabbed the coat on either side of the zipper and with pure brute force ripped the zipper right off the jacket!  BAM! FREEDOM!  Jacket: 0  Jill: 1  I was down a rain jacket but I could care less at this point - I was free!  This incident didn't really phase me, but I wonder now if it was foreboding the rest of the weekend to come...
Saturday evening was when I experienced two separate personal affronts.  One was work related and one came about through the cesspool that is online dating.  I'm not going to go into detail about the first, but I'll just say I volunteered to help someone out at the last minute and they completely took advantage of my kindness.  I didn't stand up for myself at all in that situation (something the Universe has tried to teach me over and over again, especially at my last job) and was not in the best mood when I received a rude/inappropriate message via the online dating portal.  What is it about being hidden behind the veil of a computer screen that gives some people free reign to say things (I hope) they would never say in person?!  I didn't learn my lesson on the first occasion but by this point, I'd had it.  I actually wrote something back to this person along the lines of "You are a classless human being and a poor excuse for a man."  And then promptly blocked him.  I actually felt rude myself when I sent it at first, so you can see how hard it is for me to actually stand up for myself!  This is something I'm trying very very hard to work on.  But then I realized I did the right thing by telling this person that they couldn't speak to me, or any woman for that matter, this way.  Someone needed to.  Why not me? 
I didn't get home until after 1AM that night (longest day everrrrr) and woke up Sunday morning exhausted and ruminating on the future of humanity after my run-ins with people who seemed to care only for themselves.  Why when given the opportunity do people choose to do the wrong thing?  Why when faced with a kind person, do certain people see that as an opportunity to prey on their kindness?  These thoughts were getting me down, as my super sensitive mind always wants to know 'why' and feels things so deeply.  But I realized I didn't have any answers for these questions, because I can't control other people.  The only way to feel better was to let it go and focus on the positive people and things in my life...and then my phone died.
What's the count for the weekend so far?  Oh yes, we're up to headache #4.  I marched into the Apple store close to closing time Sunday night hoping against hope they could fix this very expensive piece of machinery.  After much trying, they gave me the bad news.  The phone was dead with no chance of revival.  My only option was to replace the phone - AT FULL COST.  #*&^*(#&$ WTF!  Of course the phone was out of warranty and I was still under contract.  The nice little Apple Genius lady told me the price to replace my old model iPhone and I kind of lost it.  It's no secret that my funds this year are very limited.  My current salary is less than half of what I was making at my old job (yes for real, just let that sink in for a moment) so I live paycheck to paycheck.  When unexpected expenses like this come up, I can't pay them save for the fact of dipping into my savings.  Thankfully I have some because otherwise, I wouldn't make rent some months!  So there I stood with tears in my eyes and this poor girl didn't know what to do!  She was like I'm really sorry there's nothing else we can do.  I was SO embarrassed and kept apologizing for getting emotional - I just told her I had a really rough weekend and this kind of capped it off.  Who cries in the Apple store over a broken phone?!  This girl apparently.  Looking back a day later, it sounds ridiculous and it wasn't even the phone that got me upset.  I think it was the accumulation of negative experiences over the weekend, combined with the fact that when she asked me if I had anyone else that could help me out by giving me an old phone or something, I said 'No, I don't have anyone else'.  I just felt so alone.  A feeling I have been feeling for some time :( 
So where am I going with this whole disaster of a weekend story you might ask?  A few years ago when things like this would happen, I would think to myself that I probably did something to deserve this bad luck (crazy right?), but after the series of events that has happened to me in the past few years, I can see the personal growth that has occurred because I didn't react this way in this situation.  Well, maybe I did for a few minutes, but then I just realized, it was bad luck.  Sometimes things just happen that you can't control and you don't deserve.  The faster you move on, the faster things turn around. 
It started raining tonight and is supposed to rain 4-6 inches over the next two days here in Baltimore.  How appropriate that a physical rainstorm is actually accompanying my figurative rainstorm.  But I just know that on the other side of this storm there WILL be a rainbow.  There always is. 

How was your weekend?!  I hope that it was a million times better than mine :)


  1. Oooh, sorry for your bad weekend. I've had a few like that where at the end of it all, you need another weekend just to recover.

    It will get better. It will.

    1. Aww thank you so much for stopping by and for the words of comfort!

  2. Ah, I'm sorry you had that kind of weekend! I'm glad you wrote about it though especially since I think it actually helps to reflect and realize, even though you had a crappy weekend - you're stronger than you think and you're recognizing things that you want to change and more importantly things that have already changed. It always makes me sad when I see other people get taken advantage of – like how can people do that to good people? And while I think you’re right in that you can only control yourself, and I am a true believer in karma and being true to yourself, I also am a believer in taking action (I don’t think good things come to those who wait, I think they come to those who work hard/take action) so I am SO GLAD you responded back to that person and made sure they knew that speaking and/or treating you in that way was flat out unacceptable. Sorry I’m rambling, hopefully this all makes sense.

    Also…you have to laugh a little about the rain jacket now, right? I maybe giggled a little picturing it… 

    1. Aww thanks for all the wise words. Yeah, I have definitely been a pushover in years past! I wish I would have spoken up in the first instance as well, but I'm making progress.

      The jacket instance WAS hilarious and I'm glad it made you laugh! I was literally sweating like crazy thinking 'how on earth does one actually get trapped in a jacket?!' Like is this real life right now? While tugging and pulling and cursing, I was picturing having to ask a complete stranger to cut me out of my coat. Haha this is my life!

  3. I missed this post originally and just came back now to read it when I saw it referenced in your most recent post. I'm so sorry you had such a crappy few days!

    Good for you for standing up and saying something to that asshole internet guy. Don't let sacks of crap like him ruin internet dating for you though. That's actually how I met my husband. :) And before him, I met a couple of other really great guys through Match too.

    And that's why I hate Apple. What did you end up doing with the phone? Up until we bought the body shop in January, my husband used to run a small electronics repair business from home. He fixed a billion shattered iPhones for people--two of them mine. lol He hasn't had time to do it anymore with the new business and all, but I bet I could talk him into doing one more if you'd like me to. :)

    1. Hi Pam. Aww thank you so much for your concern and kind words! I guess we all have those ups and downs; it sucks going through the downs, but then there's always an upswing!
      ughhh this internet dating is really taking everything out of me. It's very frustrating digging through all the creeps! I'm trying to hold out hope though!
      And thank you so much for the offer to have your husband fix my phone! I really felt I had no choice but to hand over my dead phone and purchase the replacement that night. I couldn't really go days/weeks without a phone as its my only means of communication and I felt I had no choice. I really wish I had known someone that could try to fix it for me - if only you lived closer :) thanks again!