It's a Confidence Thing

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Yesterday, I had to drop off my car for some repairs that are going take a week or two, so I needed to pick up a rental car in the meantime.  The rental company was nice enough to meet me at the repair shop and shuttle me to their location to pick up the car.  The driver was a younger gentleman and we had a nice chat on the ride over.  At some point he mentioned his colleague was picking up the car he thought was going to be mine and it was an SUV.  I immediately just blurted out 'Oh, I can't drive an SUV'. Hahaha So smooth Jilly, really.  He started giggling and said 'Aww I'm sure you can.  It's just a confidence thing.  It's all in your head'.  Wise words my man, wise words.  You see, I drive a tiny little economy size car.  It's petite just like me and super fuel efficient, which I love.  It's totally within my comfort zone and that's the way I like it [TYPICAL].  I don't like change.  I mean, I'm getting better with it in general, but still.  Fear of change is just human nature, but it's something we must overcome again and again in our lives to grow. 

 

Anywhooo, getting back to my story.  So, we finally get to the rental car site and this wise sage drops me off at the office.  After being checked in by another nice gentleman, and having apparently learned nothing from my exchange with the driver, I nonchalantly tell this guy that there's a rumor going around that my rental is going to be an SUV.  'Oh no, he says, we've got you in a [insert large family sedan model here]'.  And once again, I come back with, 'Oh, that's pretty big isn't it? I don't think I can drive that'.  Hahaha what is wrong with me?!  So yada, yada, yada he's handing me paperwork, I'm signing my life over, and we go out to inspect the car.  And I'm walking around thinking this thing is boat sized and ask the man if they have anything smaller.  'No, unfortunately this is all we have today.  You'll do fine.  It's all about confidence!'.  Deja vu and worst student of life ever right here.  I love when the Universe has to SHOUT lessons at me. 

 

So I drive the boat/family sedan/ok, actually normal size car home last night going about 20 mph under the speed limit and acting like I have no idea how to maneuver a vehicle, even though I've been successfully operating them since the age of 16.  As you may have predicted, I survived and made it home in one piece.

 

That night I thought about the eerily similar message given to me that afternoon by two separate people and it was of course, as these things usually are, just right for me at that time.  I am not the most confident person.  Even when doing things I inherently know I'm good at, I still doubt myself, and especially downplay my strengths when talking to other people.  I take modesty and humility to the extreme but I also think there is a little voice inside of me on many occasions telling me I'm probably going to fail. 

 

The thing is, if you don't have confidence in yourself, why should anyone else?  Thinking you can is half the battle.  If you doubt yourself going into something, you're already placing yourself at the back of the pack.  Think about the hiring process for any type of job.  No one wants to hire or place their trust in someone who comes off as unsure and insecure in their abilities.  Why would you hire someone, for example, to paint your house whose best sales pitch is that they'll give it a shot but it'll probably come out wrong?!  In the same way, if you go into a race doubting your training and ability, you're already setting yourself up for failure.

 

Downplaying your own abilities and planting the seeds of your doubt in everyone else's mind will not get you anywhere you want to go.  In running, in your career, or just in your LIFE.  I know this, yet I continue to do it.

 

I'm sure this is part of the reason I have hesitated in taking some next steps in my life.  I like my comfort zone.  Don't we all?  But there is no growth or reward to be had in comfort.

 

The lesson was heeded (for now at least) and things changed as I got back into the rental car this morning.  I stepped into that thing a whole new person, and drove that behemoth of a family sedan like I OWNED that b**ch. 

 

I'm ready world.  Bring on the SUVs.

 

Pinterest via itsalwaysautumn.com

 

 

 

 

How self confident are you?

 

What holds you back from being more confident in your abilities?

 

What do you do to boost your confidence when doing something new or hard?

 

 

Words of Wisdom from Chipotle

I had planned to blog last night and then I had a frankly very difficult and emotional phone conversation that evening, so that kinda just derailed my plans.  I have been thinking about the words exchanged by both parties in the time since and feeling both remorseful and angry at the same time.  Why oh why do we hurt the people we love the most and vice versa. 

In any case, I wasn't feeling too bloggy so this evening after work and running some errands I decided to pile all of my feelings in a great big bowl of heaven, also known as the Chipotle salad:

A meal bigger than my head.  Spot on.

 

 

After stuffing about 2/3 of that meal in my gullet I was feeling pretty much the same, just minus the hunger.  Well imagine my surprise when, as I was folding up the Chipotle bag to put in the trash, these words caught my eye:

 

 

 

The Universe speaks!  And just like that I was given exactly the right advice by some kind of act of Divine timing.  I let that sink in for a moment, and am going to try to put that lesson into practice.

 

I love when life proves to be completely serendipitous.

 

Well I'm planning to get up early for a hopefully 10ish mile run tomorrow morning so it's about time I hit the hay.  (In retrospect, this was prob not my wisest pre-run meal, but then again if I hadn't stopped in for this salad, I would have never seen these words! BAZINGA!)

 

Happy weekend!

 

 

Do you believe in 'signs'?

 

Have you ever received messages at just the right time?

 





10 Essential Life Lessons

The past few days have brought a whirlwind of bizarre, trying and puzzling situations into my life.  I'm blaming it on the current Mercury retrograde, but I'm thinking there were also some lessons I just needed to re-learn at this time.  If find yourself in the same waters anytime soon (I hope not), perhaps some of these will speak to you too.

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1.  You can't control everything.  Or anything sometimes, for that matter!  Best to learn this one early.

 

2.  Don't take everything personally.  People say things when they're stressed or angry that they really don't mean.  We all do.  It has nothing to do with you.

 

3.  The sooner you let go of things that aren't meant for you, the better.  Let it Gooooooooooooooooooo, Let it Gooooooooooooooo.  Don't hang on to things that are no longer serving you out of comfort or fear.  (Sometimes much easier said than done.)

 

4.  Not everyone is going to like you.  And vice versa.  Shocking I know, but true.

 

5.  You can never really know what another person is thinking.  So don't even try. 

 

6.  Your worth is not determined by others' opinions of you.  When it comes to your self worth, yours is the only opinion that matters. 

 

7.  Do unto others.  Treat others as you would like to be treated - With a little R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

 

8.  Car repairs always end up costing more than you think they will.  It helps to get a second opinion.  #TimeToTradeInForABike

 

9.  Life will surprise you, every single day.  The only constant is change, right?

 

 

AND LASTLY,

 

10.  Vegan Treats make everything better.  FACT.

 

Vegan ice cream, not dog feces, I promise :)

 

 

Have you learned any lessons recently, either willingly or unwillingly?!

 

 

 

 

Coming Up for Air

Sorry for being MIA all week.  This week has been NUTS and I'm just trying to keep my head above water.  I haven't had a full day off in almost two weeks.  Yesterday I left my house at 8am and didn't get home until 11PM.  I'm not joking.  Today I nearly broke down in tears.  This is the first night I've been home and able to sit down to blog.  I haven't even been to the gym in 3 days and I'm not feeling good about it. 

But despite all of this, the craziness has served a purpose for me - it reiterated some important lessons I learned last year.

First, that the Universe will continue to repeat the lesson until you have learned it:

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I learned many many things during the years I spent in my last career, the most important of which were not finance related, but were life lessons.  I spent many years not speaking up for myself while others took advantage of me, and because I am an extremely tolerant person, I kept my chin up, thinking, one day things will change, things will improve, and others will see that what they are doing is not fair.  It took me a long time to realize that hoping things will change is not the same as taking positive actions to change things.  If  I wanted to be treated differently, I had to speak up!  I don't know why but it's very difficult for me to speak on behalf of my own best interests.  I almost always put others needs in front of mine, and I know that being compassionate must start with being compassionate to yourself.  Somehow, I let this lesson lapse the past few weeks and have been overextending myself on other's behalf.  On the outside, this benefits others, but inside, the stress builds until someday down the road, it turns into resentment.  I know that I can't let things get out of hand or let others make decisions on my behalf because I am the only one who knows what's best for me (I think I even mentioned this in my 2014 Goals post - oh how quickly I forget!).

Which leads me to lesson #2, another that has quickly fallen by the wayside already this year - Self Care.

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I am seriously slacking in Self Care right now.  I learned the hard way the past few years, that if I don't take care of myself, I can't take care of others.  I need to nurture my spirit in order to share that gift with others.  I know this, yet I don't often heed it.  If your cup is empty, how will you fill another's?  When we board a plane, and hear the safety instructions, aren't we told in case of an emergency to put on our OWN oxygen mask before attending to others, even children?  To tell you the truth, if faced with an emergency I'd probably be the person suffocating while trying to put an oxygen mask on the person next to me.  Even though I know this is ludicrous, I do this in daily life.  I attend to the needs of others first.  I'm entering a field where taking care of others is a huge part of the job, but still, I know there needs to be a balance. 

 

I found the below checklist on Pinterest and I think I'm going print it out and put it on my vision board for the year.  These are wonderful reminders:

 

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I hope this list helps others of you out there who may be in the same situation.  I am a compassionate giver by nature, but taking stock of my mental state now, after a month of constant giving, I know I need to speak up, and take action on my own behalf, in order to tip the scale back to a balanced state.  I can't run on empty forever...

 

 

So tonight, I'm taking a breather and decompressing.  Tomorrow I'll be back with your regularly scheduled programming.  

 

And now, let's zen out.  This song randomly came on Pandora the other day, in the middle of my chaotic week.  I hadn't heard it for ages, and even if only for a moment, I felt at ease.  Enjoy:



How about you?  Are you a 'people pleaser' too?

Do you often put others before yourself?

How do you assert yourself while still being compassionate?