On Love, and The Top 7 Things Your Single Friends Do Not Want to Hear

Source/via Pinterest

I should prob try that

 

 

The title of this here little blog is 'Live, Love, Run'.  I pretty much talk about my life ad nauseam and there's always mention of running thrown in there too, but you may have noticed there hasn't been much talk of love lately.  I mean, I wish that weren't the case, but there hasn't been much to report in that area.  I haven't been doing much dating lately.  There have been some attempts and some dates here and there but nothing exciting to report. 

 

Also I've abandoned Tinder.  Here's a tip: If you want to see where 95% of your city's misogynists hang out, go on Tinder.  I guess I knew going in that it was pretty much a s*itshow and I can definitely confirm for you that is the case!  Additionally, I just read this article yesterday that states if you want to upgrade to Tinder's new premium version they are going to charge double the price if you are over 30!?!?  First of all, I'd never pay for Tinder, but second and more importantly, age discrimination much?!  I thought I couldn't hate Tinder any more but I officially do.  #boycottingforlife

 

Dating is definitely harder in your 30's for many reasons.  The big one for me is that just about all of my friends/family/sisters/relatives are years deep into their marriages and have kids and families of their own.  [I have participated in, attended and planned more bridal showers, bachelorette parties, weddings and baby showers than I can count.  My closet legit looks like Katherine Heigl's in '27 Dresses'.]  This significantly reduces not only the time I spend with them, but the possibility that they have any single friends with which I can mingle!  When we were in our 20's we were all in the same boat - going out, having fun pretty much any time we wanted, and there were lots of single people in the mix.  That just isn't the case anymore.  People are either spending massive amounts of time at their job, or they're at home with their kids and families.

Today I'm going to run down a list of some of the most overused and clichéd pieces of advice I've been given over the years.  If you're single, you've probably heard a bunch of these and rolled your eyes too.  If you're not single, and you're tempted to say any of these things to someone who is, I'd advise against it.  We really can't bear to hear them one more time!

1.  Have you tried online dating? 
This one usually comes from relatives in their 60's and/or people in relationships who have never once tried online dating.  Yes, we've tried online dating.  Anyone who is single in this day and age has tried online dating, and NEWSFLASH it's not some magic pill for finding the love of your life.  It may work for some people but not for everyone.  Do I think everyone is and should be a runner?  No.  There are many different ways to exercise just as there are many different ways to meet people.  Online dating is not the be-all, end-all. 

2.  It'll happen when you least expect it.
Oh I love this one. What does this even mean?! Do you even know what you're saying?  I haven't expected it for years and nothing ever happened.  So I just disproved your tried-and-true theory.

3.  You're not putting yourself out there enough.
Again, what does this mean?! I work, I go to the gym, I hang out with YOU, my friends, my family. I travel. I am not a hermit living under a rock.  Ohhhhh, perhaps you meant I need to 'let it all hang out' and dress more provocatively? Gotcha.  I'll try that.  That's probably a good look for a nanny.

4.  You're not trying hard enough.
Really?  I find this one to be particularly judgmental.  Most of the people I know who say this met their significant other/husband/etc in the normal course of their life.  They didn't have to go through the trials of online dating, blind dates, etc that we do now.  And honestly, I don't follow the school of belief that says dating is just a 'numbers game', ie. the more people you date, the more likely you are to find the love of your life.  If I go out and buy 100 lottery tickets, I'm just as likely to win as the guy who just bought 1.  I know people who barely dated at all and got married young and there are people out there who are serial daters and still not settled down.  The number of people you date really is not relevant.  Would you ever tell someone who was trying to conceive that perhaps they're just not TRYING hard enough?  No?  That would be insensitive and inappropriate, you say? Well, I agree and it's not appropriate here either, so zip it.

5.  You'll get married if you want to.
Ummmmmm, I want to win the lottery.  Like I really, really want to win. Do you think that will happen too?!  Or did you  mean I should consider becoming a mail-order bride because that's a sure thing??  This is another one that doesn't even make any sense.  Just don't.

6.  You're not in the right time/place/etc in your life.
Hmmm.  What exactly is the right place and when will it be the right time?  Cause if you could give me a roadmap or timeline that would be really helpful.  I don't like this one because it implies that we're currently doing something WRONG with our lives and until we figure out what, it's just not going to happen.  So not only are all my dating attempts futile in this current time/place, but now I also have to try to solve some kind of riddle as to what I should actually be doing/living in order to attract a mate.

7.  It'll happen when it's supposed to.
Cliché.  Vague.  Not helpful.  Pretty much meaningless and a waste of words.


I wanted to make this a Top 10 list because it sounded cooler but I couldn't think of 3 more at the current moment!  There are probably a ton I've forgotten or missed here.  Believe me, I've been the recipient of a lot of these over the years.  But the point I'm trying to make is that when we're feeling lonely, or hopeless, or frustrated, we just want to be heard, and listened to.  We don't want to be blamed, or judged, or hear clichéd statements that have no meaning.  Just try being the friend we know you are and listen without telling us that it's our fault.  If you're lucky, we might not make the bridesmaid dresses for our future wedding THAT hideous :)

Source/via Pinterest

Exactly what I plan on doing

 

 

 

If you're single, have you heard any of these?!  How do you respond?

 

If you're attached, what do you say to your single friends?

 



Books, Water weight, and Tinder gems

This weekend post is a day late, and I blame it completely on this:

I picked up this book at the library Saturday afternoon, and there went my weekend.  Glued to the pages.  I couldn't stop reading, even though I wanted to, because I knew if I didn't the story would end.  This is a book of fiction, set in WWII Europe, but it felt very real and honestly could have been the story of any number of millions of European children during the war.  The book alternates between the story of Werner, a young German orphan, whose eagerness to escape the mines ends up landing him a spot in Hitler's Third Reich army, and Marie-Laure, a young blind French girl who is displaced from her hometown of Paris due to the German occupation.  Their paths end up fatefully crossing, and that's all I'm gonna say.  [As I was reading, I was imagining some of the places Cely had visited on her recent trip to Europe.  Her photos and writings from that trip were all beautiful.]

So, other than spending two entire days reading that novel did I accomplish anything else useful?

On Friday, I went to the gym after work to do a quick run on the treadmill.  Seeing as I don't own a scale, I rarely weigh myself, but I decided to step on the digital scale in the locker room just for kicks.  Fun right?!  Then, I got on the treadmill and did a quick 3 miles.  I decided to weigh myself again post-run just to see if there was any difference, and I was a full POUND lighter, down to the tenth.  I sweated a fair amount and really didn't drink anything while running but it still surprised me.  I kind of wish I did have a scale because I'd be really interested to see how much water weight I lose on an outdoor run in the summer.  I'm guessing it's got to be at least 2-4 pounds?  Does anyone do this regularly to track their water intake?  I know I definitely don't drink enough water most days, but this inspired me to do so, seeing just how much I lost in 30 mins!

After the gym, I stopped by Wegmans and picked up 2 delicious packages of sushi.  No pic, because I ate it too fast.  Wegmans wins hands down for best supermarket sushi.  I'm leery of eating the sushi at most other grocery stores, but Wegmans never fails. I also picked up a new holiday tea while I was there:

It's yummy.  It's herbal and caffeine free so you can drink it late at night when you're up reading until 2am.  It's very sweet as is because of the caramel flavor and spices, so you really don't need any sugar or sweetener.  Trust me, I added honey like I usually do, and it was overly sweet.

After picking up several new library books on Saturday I had some errands to run.  My book high quickly wore off the second I stepped inside a store and saw holiday decorations everywhere and heard Christmas music playing through store's loudspeakers!?  So I guess we're here already.

Sunday I spent most of the morning lazily lying on my couch, watching a whole bunch of people run some little race in NYC.  The splits the elite men and women were running in the final miles of the marathon were literally blowing my mind.  5 min miles at mile 24?!  I can't even wrap my mind around that.

I had to work Sunday night until after 9pm, but I managed to finish the book by staying up until 1:30am after I got home.  Worth the raccoon eyes the next day. 

Oh, and I thought I'd end this post on a Tinder update.  Yes, I'm still on Tinder but rarely do anything with it anymore, except look at the ridiculous photo "moments" some of these cheesers post.  Like this one:

I mean WHO are these people posting screenshots of their bank accounts to attract women?!?! I just apparently don't understand the courting rituals of humans anymore.  This is why I've been on a total of TWO Tinder dates since I started that debacle back in the summer.  Overabundance of quality here, that's why.

Andddddddddd, that's about all I have.

Happy Monday a day late, which simply means it's Tuesday.



Favorite books this year?

Do you trust supermarket sushi?

Ever measured the water weight you lose on a run?

Do you want to take over my Tinder account?!

A Bunch of Randoms

There were a bunch of things I wanted to mention over the past week, but none of them were long enough for a post, so now I'm going to hit you with a bunch of randoms.  Enjoy!

1.  I just finished reading this book, that I picked up at the book exchange on vacation: 

Apparently, I have the literature interests of a 75 year old man.

 

Truthfully, I didn't know much about Jerry Lewis going into this book, other than that he was the MDA telethon guy.  I picked it up because I'm a big Dean Martin and Rat Pack fan and I must say, I quite enjoyed the book. The insights into what these men and showbiz was like in the 40's and 50's was kind of eye opening.  If you are naïve enough to think that most entertainers and actors in those days didn't have Mob connections and girlfriends on the side (like I was), well, then this will shatter those notions.  But, the relationship between Martin and Lewis, which is the heart of this story, is also incredibly touching and unique. 

 

2.  I baked muffins last week.  By myself.  From scratch.  With real blueberries.  I don't even know who I am anymore:

 

I am becoming a domestic goddess.  Watch out world.

 

3.  I recently bought these running shorts at Forever 21 on a whim (I know, I'm like 10 years past the age limit for that store) and they are probably my favorite running shorts ever right now:

 

 

I don't shop that much for myself but I had just given away a bunch of old, ill-fitting running shorts last month during my Minimalist Game and I had to replenish!  Plus, these were less than $16.  They are incredibly comfortable, loose, breathable and feel way more high end than $16!  I honestly think these are on par with shorts I have from Nike, UA, and Reebok.  And they even have a zip pocket in the back for keys!  If you are not ashamed to walk into your local Forever 21, then I think you owe it to yourself to go check out a pair of these bad boys for yourself.   

 



4.  I won a bunch of coconut water from Walgreens through Twitter a couple weeks ago and have been enjoying it ever since:

 

 



I already enjoy coconut water immensely and drink it pretty often (usually Zico), but I didn't even know Walgreens had their own brand.  I'm guessing maybe this is new and that's why they were hosting a giveaway, but I must say it is indeed Delish.  Yesterday I was out running errands and was so thirsty I actually popped into a Walgreens and bought one of these (yes, I realize I had them at home but that was doing me no good on the other side of town) so that's how much I actually love this stuff.

 

5.  I was introduced to a new blog last week via a guy from Tinder, and I really like it.  It's called People Passionate, and I'd encourage you to give a quick read.  It's not a running blog but it's authored by a guy who left his corporate job to pursue his passion (it's a theme with me lately, what can I say) and he publishes a lot of really positive content.  Soooooo, Tinder hasn't been great for my dating life but I'm getting new blogs out of it so not a total loss, right?!

 

6.  We all know I am addicted to Buzzfeed quizzes.  Sooooo, I took this quiz, and they guessed I am a TEENAGE BOY?!?!  I'm not even going to attempt to analyze that.

 

Quiz/Playbuzz

 

And finally,

 

6.  Last week while on a walk (with a baby in a stroller, mind you) I witnessed an older gentleman gardening IN A SPEEDO.  I can't make this up.  The human race continues to befuddle me on a daily basis.  Ahh well, to each his own!

 

Source

 

 

Here's to another week of exciting adventures ahead!!  Happy Monday y'all.

 

 



What are you reading right now?

Any good running clothing/equipment finds lately?

Seen anything bizarre on a run or walk lately?!

Tinder Tuesday and #YesAllWomen

4 days.  That's all it took for me to become a victim on Tinder.  I was Tindering happily along in my bubble for 3 whole days thinking I was going to be the exception to the rule, and then it happened on Day 4.  The day I received my first overtly obscene message.

I could have just deleted the message, but I chose to call out this imbecile.  What follows is the actual message and because of this idiot, it's NSFW, so be warned.

 

 

As, you can see my retorts were somewhat humorous and tongue-in-cheek, but afterward I began to feel really angry that in 2014, this is still the state of affairs when it comes to dating protocol.  The conversation even continued on a few more lines but at that point he started calling me unattractive (uh, YOU are the one who messaged ME, Prince Charming), and I decided to just block him instead of stooping to his level and getting into an argument.

I don't know if you've been following the Twitter movement the past two days - #YesAllWomen - but it aims to call attention to the misogyny and harassment of women that is still rampant, decades after the birth of feminism and women's rights were supposedly 'won'.  The Twitter hashtag is a response to the senseless shootings in Santa Barbara, CA over the weekend by Elliot Rodger.

My intent in bringing my unfortunate Tinder exchange is not to showcase this misogynist's blatant disrespect and misguided attempt at wrangling my attention, but to start a conversation about how this type of behavior is still even happening among men in this day and age.  ANY girl who's participated in online dating, or heck, just meeting guys during a night out with friends has almost surely experienced this type of sexually harassing behavior, and has come to expect it as just something we need to put up with and weed through. 

There is something seriously wrong with that.  There are even men complaining on Twitter about the attention the #YesAllWomen movement is getting.  Because yeah, being the dominant sex for pretty much the entire course of history has been really rough.

I hope all you women out there are brave enough to call out men you see behaving this way and I hope all the men out there (at least my readers)  have evolved way past the days of banging women over the head and dragging them into your cave.


Have you ever been a victim of any sexually harassing behavior?

Have you participated in or followed the #YesAllWomen movement on Twitter?

So, This Happened...

Logo Copyright Tinder

 

 

I joined Tinder.  Yep, that Tinder.  The 'is this a hookup site?' Tinder.  Tinder of the infamous Kesha song.  Oh that's Timber.  Anywaaaaaaaaaay, I heard Tinder is a lot more mainstream these days plus all the cool kids are doing it.  I also just recently saw on Ashley's blog that she Tinders and she's a nice, sweet girl, so I thought what the heck.  Therefore, on a random, possibly insane, whim this weekend I signed my little self up. 

 

I'm happy to report in the 2 days I've been Tindering along, I've not yet been harassed, nor been the recipient of any lewd messages or naked pics.  THANK GOD.  I have no idea how long this streak of good luck can continue.  Probably not long.

 

If you're not familiar with Tinder, I'll give you the quick lowdown.  It's pretty much the simplest online dating app there is.  You don't even have to fill out a profile!  You sign in with Facebook, but no other users actually have access to your FB profile.  The app just pulls a couple photos in from your profile and that's it.  You're almost ready to start swiping. 

 

Next, enter your zip code and what you're looking for (man/woman, age range) and the app starts feeding you pictures of potential mates.  If you're not pleased with the photo that pops up, swipe left and move along.  If the gentleman strikes your fancy, swipe right.  If both parties swipe right, it's a match!  Then, and only then can you message each other. 

Pinterest

 

 

I like this feature immensely because you have complete control over who messages you meaning you don't get a million messages from random creepy 55 year old men all day long (Oh, is that just me?!). 

 

So far, my experience on Tinder is worlds better than it has been on the other site I was on.  (If you must know it was POF and I would definitely NOT recommend it to anyone.  I am pretty sure all the inhabitants on the fringes of society are on that site and messaged me ad nauseam. You've been warned.)

 

Also you will not believe who I met on there.  Have you heard about the girl who became Internet-famous by drawing hilarious cartoons of guys who sent her obscene messages on Tinder?  If you haven't, check out a link to the story here.  I actually saw this story on social media a week or two ago and thought she was awesome.  Well, I matched with some guy who lives here and IS HER COUSIN!  That's what he told me anyway.  This is the internet, so I have no idea how to verify his story, but in any case, it made my day.  I now follow this girl on Instagram! HAHAHA

 

 

So yeah, I'm on Tinder now.  God help me.

 

For all of you out there who met your soul mate in high school or college, or some other natural life setting, I envy you with every fiber of my being.  I hope you thank your lucky stars every day that you do not have to navigate the insidious minefield that is online dating.

 

Happy Tuesday folks!