25 Questions to Ask Yourself Before 2014: Part Three

 

Today I answer the last of the 25 Questions.  If you're just joining, I'm linking up with Chelsea at Life is a Sunset this week and taking part in a year-end inventory.  You can get more information about this exercise and also check out Chelsea's and other bloggers' take on the questions via her blog here.  I answered the first and second sets of questions here and here.  Without further ado, I tackle perhaps the hardest set...

21. Who do I need to forgive?  Forgiveness really is a hard art to master isn't it?  Human beings are not perfect.  We make mistakes often.  We say things without thinking, we find it hard to put ourselves in someone else's shoes and we often hurt those who are closest to us.  There are people who have hurt me in the past and I couldn't make sense of it.  It took me awhile to realize the reasons why other people do things is really not my concern.  Once I accepted that perhaps it really wasn't about me, but about them, it became easier to let them go.  In addition to being hurt by others, I know I have also been the antagonist.  I think the most difficult person of all to forgive is yourself.  This is something I struggle with and am working on.  I am trying to be as compassionate to myself as I am to others.

22. Where is it time to let go?  I have let go of a lot this year.  Finally letting go of a career direction that just wasn't working was the biggest one.  I've also let go of some personal limiting beliefs, but there is still some work to be done there.  I've let go of the need to know the outcome, or for certainty before taking action, because I know there is no such thing.  There is definitely more discomfort in taking steps without knowing where they'll lead but letting go is so much better than hanging on to something that is no longer serving you, just because you are afraid to take the leap. 

23. What old habits would I like to release?  I want to become better at being present.  I would say my thoughts for most of my life were focused on either rehashing/reliving the past, or were fueled by anxiety about what might happen in the future.  It's only recently that I've been reading about mindfulness and I've really tried to just "be" in the here and now.  Tomorrow is not promised, so why worry and why put your life off for a day that may never come?  I spend a lot of time around kids, and you know what?  They have mastered this skill without even trying.  When you are a child, you don't worry about tomorrow.  They live and play in the here and now.  Their concept of time is much different than ours.  I am looking to reclaim some of that gusto and wonder for the present moment, trusting that things will work out for the best along the way.

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24. What new habits would I like to cultivate?  I think the biggest one would be taking action.  As I mentioned before, I am historically a staller.  I take forever to make decisions but recently, I've become better at taking action even when I have no idea what the outcome will be.  This has proven to be a successful tactic! I want to keep the momentum going and not revert back to my old ways, because there are so many more things I want to accomplish in 2014. 

25. How can I be kind to myself?  By forgiving myself for past 'mistakes' and knowing they brought me to where I am now.  By staying positive, open, optimistic and peaceful with where I am and not comparing myself to others (this is hard!). 

Well, wow.  I thought yesterday's questions were tough but these take the cake.  There is probably so much more I could have written for each one, but I need to limit this post to a respectable word count :) 

As I reflect back on 2013, it was a year of big change for me and I've learned so much, but in many ways, it was just the start of many new things to come.  I hope that I continue to carry the lessons and momentum I've gained into the new year because there is a lot more I want to do.  2013 was also probably one of the fastest years of my life.  I still can't believe that we are days away from Christmas.  Sometimes my old life seems like it was just yesterday, but then other times it feels miles away.  Is this a sign that I'm getting old?!  Don't answer that. 

I hope you benefited from answering these questions if you decided to dig in and answer them.  If you have any end-of-year exercises that you participate in, I'd love to hear about them.  This is the first time I've ever sat down and put my thoughts about the past year to paper and I think it's something I will continue to do in some form or another going forward.  Thanks to Chelsea for hosting this link up!

25 Questions to Ask Yourself Before 2014: Part Two

And so we are at Day Two of this exercise.  Today, I'm answering questions 11-20 from Chelsea's list.  If you want to link up, or check out her answers to today's questions, head over to her blog at Life is a Sunset.  In the alternative, I'd invite you to just think about or journal your own answers if you're so inclined.

Let's jump in:

11. When did I feel most creatively inspired?  This year for me, it has been when I'm blogging.  As a little girl, I used to love reading and writing stories.  And then somewhere along the line, I began to think of these as trivial pursuits and abandoned them.  I am SO glad I finally decided to stop thinking of all the reasons I couldn't start writing again, and couldn't start a blog, and finally just DID it.  There's that thing about taking action, any kind of action, again!  A funny thing happened now that I am writing - the creative fire within me has been re-lit and some of my other passions from long ago have started to surface as well. I used to be into drawing, painting and crafting when I was younger and lately I have been fantasizing about signing up for an art class.  2014 get ready...

12. What projects have I completed?  (1) Starting this blog.  (2) Training for and racing 2 more half marathons this year - one in which I PR'ed!  (3) Setting the groundwork for a new career. 

13. How have I procrastinated?  Honestly, I have probably procrastinated the least this year than I ever have in my life before!  This year was all about action for me, in so many different realms.  Traditionally, I tend to hold off on making decisions out of FEAR - fear that I will make the "wrong" choice. And do you know what usually happens then?  I wait too long and the outcome is decided for me and without my input, which generally leads to unhappiness.  I've finally seen that making a choice even when you are afraid of not being "right", is far better than sitting back and doing nothing.

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14. In what ways can I re-structure my time?  Come 2014, I'm going to have a lot more on my plate and many more commitments, and I can already see it's going to be difficult to fit everything I need/want into a day.  That being said, I know I need to take care of myself and schedule my workouts, blogging, studying and other 'me' time activities, or my mental and physical health will suffer. 

15. How have I allowed fear of failure to hold me back?  This is a big lesson I learned this year.  And another reason I rarely take chances and hold off on making decisions.  I believe this fear of failure is what kept me in a job that was so misaligned with who I am for so long. I was afraid of stepping outside my comfort zone, but this year I was forced to do that, and what a blessing that has been!

16. Where has self-doubt taken over?  I doubt myself a lot, even today.  I'm better than I was a few years ago, or even last year, however I still have much to work here.  I often let outside voices influence me and my decisions too much, instead of listening to my own inner voice to guide me. When I was in a dark place a few years ago, and decided to run my first half marathon, I really doubted that I could do it.  Even as I increased my mileage and I could see that I was actually running, 10, 11, 12 miles - more than I had ever run before - still I doubted myself!  Now you can see how deep seated this is. I had actual physical proof and I was indeed performing the said task, yet still I doubted!  So, I've come a long way since then, and I credit running as the catalyst that set off this self-work and helped me to become so much more emotionally and mentally strong and confident.

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17. When have I felt the most alive?  Wow, are these questions getting more difficult or is it just me?! There have been many moments this year when I have been so, so grateful to be alive.  And that is saying a lot, because a few years ago, I felt like there was no life left in me.  Some of the moments that stand out this year:  Being present in the hospital when my best friend delivered her first child; Every time my niece or nephew takes my hand, or calls out to me, "Jilly", in their tiny little voices; My PR in the half marathon in my hometown.  Those are just a few things/moments that I will never forget.

18. How have I taught others to respect me?  By finally realizing and proving through some key accomplishments this year, that I know what's best for me.  I think I first had to convince myself of that.  Once I stopped looking outside for answers, I think others started to see me as a more confident, strong and capable person.

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19. How can I improve my relationships?  Many of my friendships and family relationships have grown stronger this year.  After working on myself, I was finally able to communicate more openly with those close to me.  For 2014, I hope to improve my outlook and openness to a romantic relationship.  That 3 month stint on Match.com this summer was an attempt but there's more to be done on the partner relationship front, that's for sure :) 

20. Have I been unfair to anyone? In the past, I believe I have and I am working on forgiving myself for those mistakes.


Wow.  These questions are becoming more difficult, more intimate, and pretty emotionally draining! I feel like I'm baring myself here, but I'm glad to be getting things out.  The only way to start anew is to put it all out there.  Part Three tomorrow.  Until then friends... 



What about you?  Did you find the second set of questions to be more probing?