I Guess It's About Time for an Update....

I guess it's about time for an update... It's been awhile.  I'm sorry for not checking in the entire month of December.  I hope you all had wonderful holidays.  And Happy New Year!

I can't believe I haven't blogged since Thanksgiving.  I wonder if I remember how to do this?  As you could probably tell from the tone of my last post, I was in a bad place.  December was an emotional/terrible month for me and I was in no place to blog about it.  I returned from Thanksgiving in Georgia to a cat that was very, very ill.  Not eating at all, hiding all day, and in a lot of pain (didn't know it at the time).  He lost 2 lbs in 2 weeks and had zero quality of life. 

I would rush home after work every evening, not knowing what condition he would be in, and I honestly thought he was not even going to make it until Christmas.  I was a wreck, he was a wreck.  I was spending all day taking care of kids, then coming home and taking care of my dying cat, and who was taking care of me?  No one.  I couldn't even think about Christmas.  When it was apparent I was going to have to put him down if this continued I decided to start him on daily prednisone.  It's a steroid that's a stop-gap measure for animals with cancer, but it comes with a risk of heart failure which is why I initially rejected the idea.  Prednisone alleviates pain, makes the animal more comfortable and extends their life a bit by slowing the progression of cancer.  It's not a cure.  As far as I know, pet owners do not often pursue chemo for animals.  

But in order to even have chemo as an option, you need to have a biopsy and confirmation of what type of cancer you're dealing with. I believe in my last post, I had said Mikey would be getting a biopsy but after his condition deteriorated so quickly I decided against it.  The vet would need to stick a needle through his body and chest wall and there were huge risks (lung puncture/collapse, bleeding out, etc).  So chemo was out and I don't think I would have even pursued it anyway.

In my attempts to do everything possible, I hired a holistic vet to come to the house and treat him!  I know what you're thinking. What the h^ll does a holistic vet do?!  And what does that cost?! It's expensive.  I mean I do not pay for acupuncture, massages, pedicures or even HAIRCUTS for myself because I can't afford them, but I was shelling out money for acupuncture for my cat!  We had 3 visits with her and initially Mikey actually sat while she put needles all over his body!  Once I started him on the prednisone and he started to feel better, however, he was not as patient.  She also gave me some essential oil to massage him with which contained things like oregano oil and he was walking around smelling like a pizza.  Ha  I've also just recently started him on some Chinese herbs which are homeopathic cancer treatments. 

All this background is to say after weeks of turmoil, uncertainty and heartache, he is finally stable.  He is not in pain anymore.  He plays and cuddles (he's on my lap 24/7).  He is eating now, but not cat food!  He prefers real meat and fish which I am now cooking every night.  And he eats treats which are probably basically junk but I'll give him whatever he wants.  He's quite skinny so anything he wants in his last days, he gets. 

I genuinely feels he wants to be here for a little while longer.  Once I sense that changing, I will have very difficult decisions to make and I'll be a freaking wreck again. 

I'll regale you with one more little anecdote regarding Mikey and then I'll stop with the cat talk.  One day a couple days before Christmas, he was having a string of bad days.  Hadn't eaten and didn't have much energy (some days are like this).  I got home from work and tried feeding him every thing I could think of and he still didn't want it.  I got frustrated and started crying and basically screaming at him that he had to eat (horrendous behavior on my part).  I took a shower and tried to calm down but was still upset.  It was then that Mikey went into the kitchen, jumped on the counter, and retrieved and dropped a little medicine cup at my feet.  I had completely forgotten about this game we used to play!  I didn't even knew that Mikey knew where I kept the little cups.  We proceeded to then play 'catch' for the next 15-20 minutes. 

When I say that I can't remember the last time we played this game, I mean it has been at least a year or two.  When Mikey was younger he loved this game.  He literally plays 'fetch' just like a dog! I never taught him this, he just brought a little milk cap over to me many years ago, I threw it, and he fetched it and brought it back to me.  And so it began.  He loved this game but for some reason, I had kind of forgotten to 'play' with my cats for so long.  Their lives became more about a comfort to me lately, than me stimulating them and remembering to give them the attention they obviously craved.

At this moment and on this night, it honestly felt like a miraculous, spiritual event.  I hadn't seen Mikey like this in months, and here he was playing.  I feel animals can be psychic on some level and I honestly felt like he was telling me that he was still here, still wanted to be here, and was still in the game.  I cried some more then and told him I understood. 

Okkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.  That was a lot.  I hope I didn't kill you all emotionally! 

I'll end with some Christmas pictures to recap the last few weeks.  Oh did I also forget to mention that my car broke down on Christmas Eve?! Yeah so that happened too. I almost didn't make it home for Christmas.  I was debating until the last day whether to even go home this year because I was so distraught, and then the cherry on top was a $400 car repair!  But I'm glad I did.  Because being at home with the people we love turned out to be the best medicine for both me and the cats.  After nearly 12 years in Baltimore, I'm thinking its about time I get moving closer to the people that are important to me, but more on that later. 

For now, enjoy:

Running through fog on Christmas morning.  It was 60 degrees.  So strange.  And wonderful.

My running has actually been feeling really good lately so there's one silver lining in this dark cloud hanging over us.  I've been logging more miles recently and so far, so good on the leg/knee issue!

 

 

 

Christmas Day with my nephews!

 

 

 

My babies

 

 

 

My very best friends in all the world

 

 

After a month of incredible stress and turmoil, being around my family and friends was incredibly healing.  I don't reach out for help much, but I am realizing more and more that being around loved ones is actually really necessary for a healthy happy life.  It's no good for me to be on my own constantly.  Apparently it took my cat getting cancer for me to realize this.  In his last months of life, all he wants is to be constantly near me.  Constantly.  Follows me everywhere.  Is on my lap for petting and snuggles every opportunity he can get.  Sometimes I don't think I realize how much of a negative affect the distance from my loved ones has, until it's too late, crisis hits and I'm unraveling.  People need people.  Otherwise what's the point?

 

There are some things I'd like to accomplish in the new year, but for now they'll remain unsaid.  I'm kind of in a holding pattern right now as I don't want to make any big changes in Mikey's last days.  What I do know is that 2016 for me is going to be more about connection and trying to be true deep down to what's important to me.  You never know how much time you have left.

 

 

I wanted a West Coast winter this year and I got it.  On the East Coast.  I know this is hinting at severe ecological changes, but I can't help but enjoy it.  For now anyway.  Now is really all we have anyway.

 

 

I don't know how often I'll be blogging right now as my priorities have obviously changed.  I'm gone from my house 12-13 hours a day as is and any time that's left I want to spend with Mikey.  Thanks for everyone who has reached out and kept us in your thoughts!

 

 

How were your holidays?

 

How does 2016 feel to you so far?

 

 

Is it important for you to be near family/friends or do you like the independence of distance?

 



Pisces for Life and Breaking up with Winter

OMG it's my BIRTHDAY MONTH!!!  Happy March.  And happy birthday to all the other dreamers out there.  #PiscesForLife 

Source/via Pinterest

 

I am welcoming March in with every fiber of my being, and not just because of my birthday.  Can we just be over Winter now?!  Woke up to this again yesterday and I just can't anymore.

 



 

Thank heavens I decided to do my long run on Saturday, otherwise Mother Nature would've screwed me again.  I've been doing most of my running on the treadmill for months and am hoping to do a half in April so I kind of need the weekend weather to cooperate for the next 2 months so I can get my long runs in out there.

 

Speaking of that run, I cursed more than I have in weeks out there on Saturday.  It has been A WEEK since our "giant" snowstorm here in MD (and by giant I mean 8-10 inches) and 90% of the sidewalks on my hour-long run STILL HAD NOT BEEN SHOVELED.  Baltimore City law gives homeowners and businesses 3 HOURS after the snowstorm to clear their walks.  It's been 7 DAYS!!!  I was plodding through snow and ice, twisting my ankles, throwing my hands up and looking in every window of every house I passed and cursing the residents therein.  I prob looked like a madwoman.  I don't care.  I even passed some businesses that hadn't cleared their sidewalks?!  Apparently I've still not calmed down.  I dk who these Marylanders think they are but up in PA everyone I know shovels their sidewalk right after a storm because they aren't RUDE.  Ughh, ok I'm done ranting.  But you can bet your bottom dollar if I would have seriously injured myself on someone's sidewalk S*it would've gone down. 

 



Mooooooooooooving on.  I made a sweet potato for the first time ever this weekend and it was incredible!  Here's a little tidbit about my food preferences:  I strongly dislike potatoes.  Baked potatoes especially, but I also don't like mashed potatoes, roasted potatoes, potato wedges...shrimp salad, shrimp stew, shrimp gumbo.  Oh wait, different list.  Every once in awhile I'll eat French fries but if they're too 'potato-y', NOPE.  So, I guess I always thought that my taste buds would also reject sweet potatoes.  Plus, whenever anyone prepared sweet potatoes they were always loaded with butter so trying them wasn't even an option for me.  Well, last weekend my mom baked sweet potatoes with dinner and offered me a plain one.  I decided to throw caution to the wind and try one, fully planning on it triggering my gag reflex.  Well what do you know I LOVED IT! 

 

So this weekend I made one for myself in the microwave and topped it with some Smart Balance Light (vegan butter alternative) and cinnamon.  I ate this after my freezing, treacherous run outside, and not only was it delicious, it also somewhat settled the litigious urges I had against all of my neighbors.

 

Lastly, I wasn't even into "the dress" saga that was all over the internet on Friday, but somehow curiosity got the best of me.  However, after being force-fed article after article on my FB feed, I am still pretty unclear as to why everyone was seeing different colors?!  I guess I'm an idiot.  For the record, I'm team #WhiteandGold but I think regardless of what colors you saw we can all coexist in harmony. One love. (I mean, but really, how can you see Blue and Black here?!) Ok I'm done.

 

 

I am counting down the days to Daylight Savings.  5 more to go.  I'm about to tell Winter IT'S OVER.  It's time we see other seasons.  It's not me, it's you.  IT'S DEFINITELY YOU.


Have a great week!!!


Do you like sweet potatoes?

Do the residents of your neighborhood do the right thing and shovel their sidewalks?!

My Non-Running Injury

You may have noticed I've been missing from these parts for the past week, and for that I apologize.  What was I doing?  Oh, you know just spending a few days incapacitated by a freak injury.  I'm feeling a lot better today but mannnnnnnnn, I was down for the count for a couple of days there.

Let me explain....

I fought the law and the law won.  No, not really.  But I did fight winter and winter kicked my A$S!  So far I'd say the tally this season is Winter: 1 bazillion twelve million, and Humanity: 0. 

We got yet ANOTHER snowstorm Sunday evening.  I normally am not one to run out to the grocery store every time snow is in the forecast, but it was Sunday and that's usually when I go shopping for the week.  Never again.  People were clearing the shelves like we were on the brink of apocalypse. 

source via Pinterest

 

I woke up Monday morning to snow, but we didn't end up getting the foot they were calling for (thank goodness for small miracles).  There were probably about 5 inches or so total when it finally stopped later that afternoon.  Annoyed that I had to shovel my car out again for the 17th time this winter, I suited up in my running tights, various layers of t-shirts, my ski jacket and the rinkiest dinkiest gloves I could find and headed out into the third iteration of the polar vortex to get to work.  Oh I forgot to mention that just prior to this, I got a nosebleed.  HAHAHA.  Ever since I was a wee one, I get nosebleeds, especially in the winter, when the air inside is hot and dry.  Every once in awhile I will get summer nosebleeds if I get really overheated.  Anyway, my heat was on high blast this weekend because it was so cold outside so I guess that's what did it.  Sorry if that's TMI but it's important in the retelling of this disaster. 

 

So I waited until I thought my little snout was healed and out I went.  I proceeded to clear the snow off my car without incident and then moved on to shoveling out around it.  However, I guess my body started to heat up once I started to shovel and my nose began dripping blood onto the snow! Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww.  If you are not sufficiently grossed out, please read on.

 

Of course I did not have any tissues with me, and of course I didn't feel like walking all the way back around my building and up 3 flights of stairs to get some, so what did I do?  Oh I just continued to drip blood in the snow like a dying animal while shoveling like a maniac to finish what I came out there to do.  You can prob see where this is leading.  I have never once injured myself shoveling snow (and I grew up in even snowier Pennsylvania).  I thought that was a fate reserved for my AARP years.  Wrongo.  All of sudden I felt a pang? A snap? And then a shooting pain across my back.  I guess I twisted the wrong way in my rushed attempt to finish while bleeding profusely from my nose.  Man, this even sounds gross :(

 

 

I'm with you kid.

 

You may think at that point I would have admitted defeat and went back inside.  You'd be wrong.  I CONTINUED TO SHOVEL like a moron despite the shooting pain in my back.  When I finally came inside I convinced myself it wasn't that bad.  I was in pain, but rarely if ever, pay attention my body's pain cues (not good).  I took some Advil, put a heating pad on it and then carried on with my evening.  I mean, I even had time to post this good humored little status update on FB.  All was right with the world. 

 

 

 

And then...

 

That night was TORTURE.  I was in so much pain I couldn't even sleep.  There was no position whatsoever that did not cause me pain.  My bed was like my worst enemy.  When I got up the next morning I could barely move.  I have never suffered a back injury so I had no clue what was wrong.  Did I break something?  Is there even any way you can break your back shoveling?!  If it's just a muscle injury why do I feel paralyzed yet also in extreme pain?!  So I did what most women in their 30's do when they are sick.  Texted my mom!  She's a nurse so I knew she'd have some good advice.  She said I should probably go to the ER and get some kind of shot or muscle relaxants and pain killers.  Well, I don't have health insurance currently so that wasn't an option. 

 

I basically spent the next 24 hours of my life popping Advil like it was candy and lying on the floor.  Yes that was the only thing that was comfortable.  My sofa hurt me, my bed hurt me, standing hurt, sitting hurt.  Lying motionless on the ground was the only thing somewhat tolerable.

 

I ate Advil non stop for the next 3 days and today I'm feeling much improved.  I still have pain in my back but at least I can move, sit and bend, if somewhat awkwardly.

 

I am hoping I NEVER SEE SNOW AGAIN and if I do that this never happens again!  I haven't gone to the gym since Sunday and I'm kind of scared to start working out again until I have no pain lest I reawaken the monster. 

 

Gosh, I am sorry this post got so long! 

 

Moral of the story though:  WINTER BLOWS.  The end.

 

 

 

Have you ever injured yourself shoveling snow?

Do you have any experience with back injuries?  Can you offer me any advice?!



 

Without Winter, Would There be a Spring?

As I sit here this afternoon, in the midst of yet another apocalyptic snowfall this season (thanks, Winter Storm #Pax), this question came to mind, and I've been thinking about it a lot, both literally and figuratively. 

via

 

 

As young children in school, many of us learn about the four seasons.  We learn that in temperate climates, there are distinct seasons of the year, and each one has a special purpose and characteristics.  We understand that certain things must happen at particular times of the year, in order to make way for other things to happen later in the year.  So I guess you could say in terms of climatic seasons, there really would be no spring without winter.  If nothing ever died, or hibernated, or froze, there would be no need for rebirth, regrowth and warming. 

 

I often wonder what it is like to live in a tropical climate, or a place that doesn't have a winter season?  Is everything just constantly in bloom and flourishing?  And if this is the case, do these people know how good they have it?!  Is every plant, animal and human just bursting at the seams with happiness?!

 

In a more figurative manner I wonder, if you never experience bad 'weather' in your life - bad times, tragedies, heartbreak, etc - do you appreciate the goodness you have as much?  If it were summer every day, I wonder if I would start to take it for granted?  I know when we are in the midst of summer, and every day the weather is gorgeous and beautiful, I start to do just that.  It's only when we have a rainy day or when I'm smack dab in the middle of a dark grey winter that I realize just how beautiful summer is. 

 

And so I ask, do we always need a comparison to realize how good we have it?  Do we sometimes only know what goodness we have once it's gone?  Sadly, I think I do, and I wish that wasn't the case.  I think there are probably highly enlightened people out there who, when they are in the midst of some really good weather, give gratitude for it and realize just how lucky they are, without needing any reminders or comparisons.

 

But on the same token, do you think experiencing bad weather, climate-wise or life-wise, makes you appreciate the sunny weather even more?  I do think so.  I think when you're at rock bottom (as we just may be this winter!) and you make it to the top - whatever that may be for you and your situation - you see it with very different eyes, than someone who has been there all along, even if that person is truly grateful for all that they have. 

 

But alas, these are questions I really do not have answers for, provoked by what has seemed like the longest, coldest winter ever.  I we will all be dancing like maniacs in the street when spring finally rolls around.  I imagine it will feel like we are seeing the season with new eyes - every new blossom and ray of sunshine we feel on our face may just feel like the first one ever.  And for that wonderful gift, we can thank this crazy winter.  I think I've just found the silver lining...

 

 

What do you think?

 

Would you know and appreciate your good weather, if you never experienced any bad?

 

If you live in California or the tropics, please chime in!  (And also let me know if you need a new roomie!)

 



 

What To Do With All This Snow...

I cooked!  Nah, just kidding.  I did no such thing.  Gotcha!

But I did make SNOW ICE CREAM!

Just as I was beginning to think that winter and its accompanying snow had no redeeming value, I stumbled upon snow ice cream.  Apparently, people have been making 'ice cream' from snow for ages.  I've recently seen Instagram pics, Pinterest recipes and even heard about it in real life from someone just this week.  Since I grew up in the snowy depths of Pennsylvania, I almost feel like I missed out on an important rite of passage as a child.  Nah, not really.  However, I was so intrigued that I  had to see for myself what all the fuss was about.  Also, the Northeast has been pummeled by snow this week and I couldn't think of anything better to do with the mounds of it on my balcony.

So, I headed on over to Pinterest to see how exactly to go about this little project.  Oh my, there are pins upon pins for this stuff.  Here are a couple I referenced:

via bargainbriana.com

 

via madamedeals.com

 

 

Suddenly I felt like the only human on the planet who has never made snow ice cream.  In any case, it turns out you need very few ingredients to make this little treat.  All of the recipes call for the same 3 basic ingredients: some kind of milk, vanilla extract and sugar (in addition to your pure virgin snow).

Also, many of the instructions made sure to specify that you should be using clean snow free of debris, animal trackings, and/or yellow discoloration.  I enjoyed those comments just a little too much.  I mean, if they hadn't specifically told me, I was planning on just hopping out of my car while driving down the freeway and scooping some black trodden muck from the side of the road.  Thank goodness for explicit instructions.

Without further ado, let's begin.

Step 1:  Grab some kind of vessel and a large spoon and head into the great outdoors to fill that vessel full of white fluffy snow.  (I used an 8 cup Glad food storage container.)

 

 

 

 

Step 2:  Add in your milk.  Some recipes called for sweetened condensed milk, and some just used regular ol' cow's milk.  Anti-lactose girl over here used unsweetened almond milk.  The amounts varied depending on the amount of snow you have, but I used 1 cup. 

Step 3:  Add the vanilla extract.  I used 1 teaspoon.

 

 

Step 4 (Optional):  Add sugar.  I was actually going to skip this step because I didn't want the added sugar, however I tasted my concoction after having added the almond milk and vanilla and it was very bland.  This was probably because I used unsweetened almond milk.  If you're going dairy and you used sweetened condensed milk, I think you could probably skip the sugar.  I added a 1/4 cup of sugar and tasted it.  Holy sweetness!  So back out I went on the deck to scoop up some more snow for dilution.

 

 

 

Step 5:  Eat & enjoy!  Behold my final product:

 

 

 

 

Verdict:  This stuff in no way tastes like ice cream, but that could be due in part to the fact that I didn't use condensed or dairy milk in my recipe.  It wasn't the best thing I ever ate, but I give it high scores for being a novelty.  And it actually tastes pretty similar to vanilla flavored Italian ice.  Have any of you ever had that?  It reminds me of Rita's vanilla Italian ice, if you have those shops in your neck of the woods.

 

This snow cream has no nutritional value to speak of, unless we're talking the water content for hydration, but if I had kids I would LOVE to make this with them! In fact, if I knew about this at Christmastime I would have made some with my niece and nephews.  Live and learn. 

 

If you are currently being slammed with snow, give it a whirl.  Um, just remember to scoop up clean snow people :)

 

 

 

Have you ever made snow cream?!

 

Please tell me I'm not the only one whose childhood was devoid of this little winter secret.



 

 

 



Snowmageddon

Those of you that lived in the Baltimore/DC area in 2010 will probably always remember Snowmageddon, the giant snowstorm we had in February of that year.  We were snowed on for two days and got almost 3 feet of snow where I live.  The storm shattered all kinds of records and it was nearly impossible to navigate the roads for days.  It also took forever for me to uncover my car, and there were standing mountains of snow everywhere for weeks.  My Facebook news feed blew up that weekend with pictures of people traipsing all over the city by foot, exploring our city made new by snow, Day After Tomorrow style. 

The past two days here have in no way been Snowpocalyptic, but the conditions had me reminiscing about that storm.  I woke up Sunday morning to this:

Jillyruns on Instagram

 

I'm not the biggest fan of snow, but the scene was beautiful.  So serene.  It snowed for most of the day, and so I was pretty much forced to stay in for the day (PJ day, ok twist my arm!).  My plans for that evening got cancelled, so I took a rest day, watched Christmas movies and finished a book I had been in the middle of - A Return to Love, by Marianne Williamson (extremely thought-provoking; I may do a post on this).  However, by the end of the day, I was getting stir crazy and was looking forward to boot camp the next morning.  Well, we had sleet and freezing rain all night so my Monday morning plans got cancelled as well.  Ugh.  You see why I'm not snow's biggest fan?  I ended up doing this circuit workout twice through - top to bottom, then back up from bottom to top.

 

via

 

When the weather cleared up in the afternoon I headed out to do some Christmas shopping.  I hadn't even started yet so this seemed like a good enough time as any to get going!  Ummm, stores, and the humans inside them, are crazy at Christmas.  I should have known this.  I got a few things but ultimately felt defeated.  My list is long and my purchases are few.  Endurance sports, I'm good with.  Endurance shopping? Not so much. I have a feeling I will be doing most of the rest of my shopping online.  On top of that, there was more snow in the forecast last night!

 

Fast forward to this morning.  Snow Day #2 and I'm beginning to feel like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day.

 

Jillyruns on Instagram

 

Beautiful indeed, however all my plans for the day got cancelled once again.  Even the Federal government in DC is shut down today. wah wah  I'm beginning to see a pattern here.  And may I remind you all, it's not even Winter yet!  The season doesn't officially start until the solstice on Dec 21st which means we still have more than 3 months of this to look forward to.  If I were 12 years old again, I'd LOVE winter.  Back then I lived for snow days which meant no school and spending the entire day outside sledding and with my sisters and all the kids in the neighborhood.  These days, not so much.  I am so antsy in here!  The streets are fairly clear today though so I'm hoping evening boot camp classes will not be cancelled.  I'm also thinking that I'm going to need to invest in some kind of winter running adaptations like Yaktrax.  Does anyone use these on their running shoes?  If its going to be snowing like this all winter, I'm going to have to get out there.  Cabin fever will be the death of me. 

 

Here's to hoping there's no more snow in the forecast for tonight...

 

 

 

How's the weather where you are?

 

Do you like/love snow?