Thankful for the Struggles and Giveaway Winner

The giveaway winner for the WIN Sports Detergent has been drawn!  Congratulations!  Check the Rafflecopter here to see if it was you!  I will be emailing the winner to get your info (mailing address/etc) to send to the company.


About this time of year, everyone becomes a bit more mindful of the blessings in their lives.  As we are surrounded by family and friends, in warm houses with too much to eat, we are aware that many are not so lucky.  My Thanksgiving post is not going to be quite so typical, in that I'm not going to list out all the incredible, wonderful (and probably undeserved) blessings in my life.  Ok, I might do that too.  But today I want to talk about being thankful not only for the good things in life, but for the not-so-good things too; the things that sometimes feel like curses at times.  What I'm starting to realize is that the struggles make me who I am and without them I probably wouldn't be the person I am today. 

To start off, I want to say that I realize I am probably more fortunate than many others around the world.  I have the most loving family and friends.  I can feed, clothe and shelter myself.  I live in a nation that allows me freedoms that people in other nations only dream about.  I have luckily never personally experienced the traumas of oppression, war, disease or famine.  There are millions of people who cannot say the same, and yet, I'm sure complain less than I do.  So before I go any further I want to say I am grateful for all that I have and all that I am, even if I struggle with that gratefulness from time to time.

I think it is simply human nature to never be satisfied.  It certainly is reinforced in our American culture, and it takes a lot of self control and mindfulness to rise above the messages of consumerism we are fed every day.  Of course, I find myself envious of or craving material items others may have at times, but more often its the non-material things I find myself longing for.  The truth is, I don't think one kind of longing is 'better' than the other.  The key to happiness is to be able to be happy, exactly as you are.  It's a tough tough notion. 

There are many things I've struggled with in recent years, and continue to struggle with, and when times are hard I resent these struggles so so much.  I find myself envying others who I think have it 'easier' than I do.  Why haven't I found my life partner yet, I think?  Why am I still struggling to make ends meet?  Why can't I seem to find my path in life?  Why can't I run a 1:45 half marathon?! 

If things were always easy, do you think you would appreciate your circumstances and victories as much?  I really don't think so.  Perhaps my love/hate relationship with the struggle is what made me gravitate to running so long ago.  Running is not always easy.  It's just not.  It takes a lot of guts to stick with something day in and day out, when conditions are good and when they are terrible.  When you're having a great day and when you're feeling like crap.  To run in a snowstorm or in the middle of a heat wave.  But to quote Tom Hanks in A League of Their Own, "...the hard is what makes it great..".  If running was easy, I don't think my love affair with it would have lasted this long.

As much as I sometimes lament that my current situation is not all that I'd want it to be, when I look back and see all the hard work I put in to get here, I am so thankful.  I think about all the $hit I went through at my old job, but despite everything that was happening never compromised my ethics or values.  Sure, it's hard sometimes when I worry about paying the bills, but that struggle proved to me just how strong I am, and how I won't back down from doing what I believe is right.  Although it sure felt like it at the time, I didn't crumble under the pressure.  And now I'm doing work that's putting real goodness back into the world, even if just in a small way.  If I never got paid a cent, I would still show up to care for, nurture, and love these children with zero obligation to do so.  It's really a shame that this modern society we humans built runs on money, instead of good deeds :)

As much as I hate being single sometimes, I know that these years are undoubtedly making me stronger.  Having to do everything alone can be really hard and scary sometimes but I've proven that I can do it over and over.  Having no one to 'fall back on' or rely on really shows you who you are.  It's possible I may never find someone to share my life with and I have to make peace with that.  I mean, who knows, perhaps I was married 8 times in a previous life like Liz Taylor, so I don't get one this time around?!

Here's something to think about - Do you know what is formed after many years of intense pressure and heat?  Diamonds!  Am I saying that one day I'm going to be a diamond?!  Ha, I don't know.  I'm not even sure that makes sense.  But the point I'm trying to make is that the struggles, the pressure, the work, is what make the final product so stunning, and I am the final product.  Not my job, or my money, or my house or my spouse.  Just smiling, shining, little ol diamond in the rough me.

So, today and always I want to make an effort to be thankful for the good things and the hard things, because without both I don't think I'd be the person I am today.

And just in case my family and friends think they're getting the shaft amidst all this talk of my problems, you're definitely not!  I know you all have my back and love me just as I am, just as I do you.  So, here's a little Beatles shout out to you all:




And now I'm off to the little town of Bethlehem to celebrate the holiday and my grandmother's 90th birthday, so you won't hear from me until next week, which somehow will land us in the month of December?!  I hope you all have a wonderful holiday!


What are you thankful for?

Do you think your struggles are something to regret or be thankful for?

What are your Thanksgiving plans?

Sometimes, Life is a Battlefield...

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Solid truth right up there.  Oh where to begin.  Last week was extremely trying, thus the blogging absence.  I apologize for being MIA, but I was dealing with an extremely stressful situation most of the week and blogging therefore took a back seat.  By the grace of God/the Universe/every guardian angel in the cosmos and me fighting a seemingly endless battle on my own, I came out on the other side.  In the words of Bob Marley, "You never know how strong you are, until being strong is your only choice".

 

So many thoughts were going through my head as I struggled last week, some of them productive, many of them not:

 

1.  My first thought was, 'Why me?'.  Why was this happening to me?  I know we all probably ask ourselves this when bad things happen to us, but you know what, 'why not me'?  Unfortunate events can happen to anyone.  [I tend to forget at times like these, that I am also the benefactor of many really good things too.  It's all about balance.] 

 

2.  I often then jump to, 'What did I do to deserve this'.  Also not helpful, and pretty self destructive.  I tend to think that I must've done something wrong to deserve whatever unfortunate event I am now in the midst of.  A wise person from my past once told me this is complete baloney.  I need to keep this in mind more often.  Sometimes there is no rhyme or reason.  Accidents just happen.  Hence, the meaning of the word 'accident'.

 

3.  I also spent my week dealing with a few people who were incredibly rude, dismissive and extremely unhelpful to me throughout the entire ordeal.  I so often try to understand what other people are thinking or try to understand how humans can disrespect each other so much, but these thoughts are again futile.  I was talking to my dad on Friday night relaying some of the conversations I had over the week and he shared with me another great truth - some people simply will not care about you.  It's a big wide world full of millions of people and I know this to be true, but it's completely against my nature to believe this.  I mean, my life's work is built upon caring for people to whom I have no relation, and yet I do, honestly, earnestly and whole heartedly care about them, and generally try to treat every person I interact with with respect.

 

I really think humanity needs to wake up and realize that we are ALL connected. We are all one giant family, and getting ahead by putting someone else down, is really just moving the whole of humanity back one giant step.  Our collective consciousness suffers every time we do harm to another member of the human race. 

 

By the end of the week I was pretty much emotionally drained.  I consider myself to be a strong, independent person, but every once in awhile, in situations like these, I wish I had someone else along side me, not to fight my battles for me, but just for emotional support.  Life can be really really hard going it alone every single day, and although I've proven over the years I can pretty much do anything alone, sometimes I just don't want to.  Sometimes, I just wish I had someone to lean on...

 

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Annnnnnnd, sorry for the pretty depressing post today, but that was my week and I gotta keep it real on here.  Standard Jill shenanigans to ensue later this week.

 

 

 

What do you do when life hands you lemons?