Delirious Musings from my Deathbed

That may be a slight exaggeration.  However, this is my life right now:

 



And this:

 

 

And a little bit of old-school this:

 

I spent half my paycheck at Walgreens in attempt to cure myself of spotted fever or rubella or whatever exotic disease is invading my body right now.  What started off as a 'tickle' in my throat the other night turned into laryngitis (ie. I can't speak...at all) and all over body aches.  It hurt so bad to move.  So that's been fun.  Someone put me out of my misery pleeeeeeeeeeeease.

I guess there was a reason I was craving green smoothies all weekend.  Something was definitely brewing.  You have no idea how much it's killing me that I wasn't able to run outside the past 3 days because it's been 65 degrees here!  Of course, the forecast for tomorrow is in the 40's.  I will often continue my workouts if I have a cold but this was no cold.  I had no sniffles, no sneezing, no runny nose.  I did however feel like I had been hit by a truck and/or a pack of Real New Jersey housewives.  On the work front, try wrangling toddlers without speaking sometime.  Like nailing Jello to a wall. 

I'm so delirious I shouldn't even be blogging right now, but I like to try to post at least 2x a week for you.  So if none of this makes sense, then I'm sorry, and just come back tomorrow.



IN OTHER NEWS:

- Tinder continues to provide me with opportunities to hone my improv skills:

He obviously doesn't share my sense of humor

 

 

- I learned some life-saving information which I'm sharing with you today.  If you ever find yourself the unlucky inhabitant of a free falling elevator car, well then watch and learn as MIT students explain how to survive that one a million disaster HERE.  You're welcome.

 

- I'm finally wearing the right bra size.  My bras have been 'loose' for some time.  What can I say I was in denial/had delusions of grandeur.  Well, recently I popped in to VS to claim my free undies (does anyone else get those coupons in the mail?!) and the nice saleslady asked, as they always do, if I wanted a bra fitting.  Sure, why not.  Just as I suspected, my boobs have shrunk.  How sad for them.  So I thanked her and went on my way, and purchased new smaller bras for half the price at Kohl's.  The End.

 

- I just started following Insta2yearold on Instagram.  It's kind of like Honest Toddler from Facebook, in that they are both written from the perspective of snarky little babies.  If you like kids and find them endlessly hilarious, I recommend both of these accounts to you.

 

- It was Leo's birthday today.  And Buzzfeed may just cure my bird flu with 41 Reasons To Be Thankful for Leonardio DiCaprio Today  I mean, there's got to be a reason we're both still single Leo.  Just sayin'.  Call me

 

- I lost count of how many times Kim Kardashian's giant oily butt cheeks have popped up on my newsfeed today.

 

- If you haven't had enough of my delirious ramblings by now and are looking for even more, then head on over to The Northeast Bloggers Network where I'm the featured Blog of the Week!  Hopefully, my writing in that post is more sound than this one. 

 

 

Lastly, I apologize for giving you two fluffy posts this week.  I am working on some meatier articles (by 'working on', I mean they are still just bullet points in my head), but there was no way I could produce them in my current condition.

 

And I'm off to bed.  I hope I don't die and that I wake tomorrow as the Bionic Woman.  Or just healthy 'ol Bean.  Either will do.  Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

 

 

 

What do you do when you're sick?

 

Do you have any tried and true remedies to share?!

 

Do you have any idea if you're wearing the right bra size?!

 

 

-



I am Human

Lesson learned Universe.  Thanks a lot!

This week I was literally knocked on my arse with the gentle reminder that I am in fact human, in the form of a raging cold which I am sure originated from the depths of Hades. 

I seriously could have used that.

via Pinterest

I can't even remember the last time I had a cold.  I mean I. never. get. sick.  Au contraire.  I guess in fact, I do.  I am such a stickler for hand washing.  I wash my hands all day long at work, being around the kids and, hello, diapers!  I wash my hands as soon as I walk in the door to my apartment every night, and especially when I'm at the gym (multiple times I might add).

So I have no idea where this cold came from, but instead of rehashing where I may have gone astray (like I do with so many things in life), I finally decided to allow myself some grace and acknowledge that perhaps I didn't do anything "wrong" and I just caught a cold, like millions of other humans on the planet do each and every day.  That, in and of itself, is a hard little lesson for our Jilly.  Sometimes you don't do anything wrong and crap happens.  We are own worst critics, well I know I am anyway.  When other people are sick, I feel empathy and want to soothe them.  When I'm sick, I first deny it, and then try to soldier on as if I don't deserve the TLC I so willingly give others in need.  Being sick feels like I failed.  Failed what, I have no idea.  Crazy. 

I am actually thinking that the recent lack of meat in my diet could have contributed to my lowered immune response, but I'm not sure.  For a bit of background, I actually attempted to go vegetarian once before, many many years ago, as a freshman in college.  I was 18 and admittedly I probably made many unhealthy choices when I eliminated meat, but I only lasted a couple of months.  I was sickly, run down, and literally starving so I caved and once again became carnivore.  My roommate actually lasted a couple of years as a vegetarian, but she eventually got tired of being sick all the time and now eats meat again too.

So, I don't know.  Maybe I have to give myself grace on this front too and admit that I may be the kind of person who needs meat in their diet.  The thing is, the more I read about factory farming and what happens to the animals I ultimately end up consuming, the more guilty and disturbed I feel biting into a hamburger.  I can't unlearn the things I've learned.  Once you go down that rabbit hole, there's no going back.  I know many people choose to ignore these terrible facts and I've done that, I do that, as well, but I feel I may be a 'highly sensitive person' (check out this article for more info), and it's always in the back of my mind. 

I literally cannot stand the thought of a chicken spending it's entire life in a pen the size of a sheet of computer paper with no room to move, to flap its wings, or do anything other than lay eggs.  Or a pig trapped it's entire life in a crate no bigger than it's body, unable to move or turn around until it's eventually fat enough to become my morning bacon.  And don't even get me started on milk.  Thank goodness I'm allergic to it.  Impregnating cows just so that they start lactating and then removing their calves from them the instant they are born, so that they LITERALLY cry out for DAYS for their missing babies, who will now become veal (Farmers have actually reported hearing mother cow's desperate wails for their children that they never see again.).  I just can't even.  How do I reconcile the realities of what has happened to these innocent animals, that now sit on my dinner plate?  I have no answer for that.  Sure, I guess some people will argue, circle of life, and food chain, and we are the higher beings and all that.  Except that you don't see people sitting down to feast on the family dog or cat (whose fate was spared thousands of years ago when we decided to domesticate them), so those arguments don't really hold water.  I know this for sure, if I actually had to hunt or kill my own food, I would surely starve.  Being removed from the process, not being the one to actually do the deed, makes it far easier - true for so many things in life. 

Maybe if all pigs played the guitar we wouldn't eat them??

via Pinterest

So, I don't know where I was actually going with this post other than to say, I'm fallible, I'm human and I will continue to make mistakes, probably get sick again (?!), and probably let myself and others down more times than I can count in this one messy lifetime, but I think I've got to be kind to myself and allow myself and others the grace to be exactly where we are when we try and fail. 

Anyway, after two solid days of feeling like the walking dead, and eating chicken soup (I know) every night, I am finally starting to feel a bit better. 

I don't know what I'm going to do about the meat thing.  I already don't eat dairy, so eliminating meat is difficult, to say the least.  I love meat and feel my body needs it, but maybe I'm wrong.  For now I'm going to continue my research and allow myself to just BE where I am in the process at this point in time.


*I have some websites, books and videos I can recommend if you're interested in learning more about where our food comes from, if you want to jump down that rabbit hole.  If not, I understand!  Let me know.  I'd welcome recommendations from you on the subject as well!


When was the last time you were sick?  Do you continue to work through it, or do you allow yourself some rest days?

How do you feel about eating meat?